i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
