i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So. Much. Porn.
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