Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
