"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
