Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize