You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
