i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
