It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
