so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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