if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
