Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
