i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
