and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize