i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
