Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
