New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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