looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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