The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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