Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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