but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
