maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize