I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
