just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
