Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
