it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
