Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
