just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
40s are totally the cure
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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