Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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