Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
