She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Randomize
