I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
