He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
