OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
