hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
