You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
