I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
