i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
