google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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