it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
