What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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