So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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