i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are my feet made of real feet?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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