im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
