Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
