thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
