real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
where are my eyebrows?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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