a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
