Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
