What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
