Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
