Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
