Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
