and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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