we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
