I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
