I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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