the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
