I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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