piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
