is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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