dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
