Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Found the puke drawer
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
