remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
