Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
