honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
