She said her name was "party"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize