I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
