R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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